19 February 2011
Mr. Cover Letter, Sr. Bane of My Existence
Company Hiring Managers
Everywhere, USA
Writing a cover letter is like:
- jumping through a fiery hoop of expectations.
- an awkward first phone date. (does anyone do that?)
- trying to impress your friend's perfect parents.
- taking that part of writing class in highschool all over again.
- putting really colorful pictures on the front of an ordinary pack of #2 pencils. either you want and will use the pencils or you don't and won't.
I will call you in the following week to schedule a time we can further discuss my disgust for you.
Sincerely,
Over It
P.S. Minimum wage college graduates everywhere can vouch for my sincerity.
Response 1:
ReplyDeleteDear Over It,
We have looked over your cover letter and resume and, as usual, have disregarded you and all your potential. Try harder next time. And the next. And the next.
Sincerely,
Cover Letter and Resume Readers (actually, Scanners)
Response 2:
Dear Over It,
Sorry that this sucks.
Sincerely,
Soon-to-be Over It